After thirteen hours on a plane that left Vancouver at 3am, we get to the transfer security when a mum turns to her crying daughter, around two years old, “Look at her,” she points at L. “She’s not crying. Why do you have to cry?”
A couple of days ago at the Chinook mall in Calgary a mum with a younger daughter, maybe one, looked at L and R and said, “Look at them. They aren’t screaming. Why are you?” I was quite wired, even stressed out from having spent hours in that crazy big mall. I couldn’t help myself. I responded quite sternly, almost speaking to her daughter. “Of course they scream.”
“Do they? They scream as well?” was the mum’s rhetorical question back at me.
I don’t get it.
It drives me crazy.
My mum friends, and others who might have read more or understand more about parenting than I do, please help me out with this one. What’s with that line?
Natasha Devalia 
I don’t get it. And it makes me crazy. I don’t like the pressure it puts on the any of the kids involved, and I’m sure the kids don’t like being put on the spot like that. (I could get all political about how dangerous it is to encourage anyone to behave exactly like their peers, but that’s another rant entirely.) Yes, they do scream. I promise. And they cry, stomp their feet, refuse to obey, deny the validity of ever using an “inside voice”, and otherwise test my patience. They just don’t happen to be doing it right now. And I’m grateful.
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You’re right, the pressure and guilt it puts on the children on both sides doesn’t benefit anyone. Do you get that kind of comment often though?
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I do. My kids are shy about new people, so they are very quiet and stay close to me when we are out together in a busy public place. It makes them seem better behaved than they are, so cue the ridiculous comment.
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