It’s been a period of change, intermingled with feelings of pain and loss. I cried. Yet I stand tall with my family. There is suffering. Yet I know that this too shall pass. Change is inevitable. The Bhagavad Gita, a great text, came to mind. Krishna, the teacher of teachers guided Arjuna, a warrior in … Continue reading Change is Inevitable

I stopped teaching yoga and dance about two years ago. Around then I had started to blame others and myself for my drawbacks, my paranoia was heightening, and I was grieving a friend. I felt that I was unfit to teach. Luckily I could easily slip out of teaching without affecting anything or anyone. Except … Continue reading A Period of Exploration

“Have you seen my black top mum, the one with the short sleeves?” I scream across the corridor. “Yes, top right of your cupboard, third one in the pile.” That’s exactly where it was, but how did she know?! “I’m going out with some friends this evening, can I have some money please?” “Sure, when … Continue reading She is Compassion

I have been sitting with my anxiety and feelings of guilt, shame, and of being judged. Because writing like this lately, about things so deeply personal has left me feeling exposed. Me, the secretive, very personal one. I am trying not to push the anxiety away nor will I let myself run with it. I … Continue reading Why Write? Why Share?

I always feared that I would be called weak if I expressed any vulnerability. So instead, I put on a “strong” face at all times. The stronger I appeared to be, the less anyone guessed at my inner sadness, feelings of isolation, or hopelessness. Being third generation Southern Africans of Indian Gujarati descent we were … Continue reading A Hidden Depression

What if I hadn’t failed when I was 15 years old? What if I hadn’t come-to that night and immediately realized how precious this life is? I would never have met my husband, looked into my children’s eyes, spent time with many great teachers and friends.   I would never have danced in Lebanon, or … Continue reading Because Life is Worth it

I started running around the age of ten. My dad would take me with him on his road runs in residential Lusaka, usually in the evenings after his workday. Soon I was old enough to go on my own and it became my thing. I joined the running club at school and on other days … Continue reading Running with my Partner

An aunt of mine wrote the most beautiful email to me after reading some of my blog posts. She talks of her own experience with depression and hospitalization, as well as her partner’s story with medication, hospitalization, and recuperation. What surprises me is the number of people who have been through this kind of experience … Continue reading Rest, Time, and Therapy

In my last post I was quite general and told my overall story of paranoia, how I reacted, and I gave suggestions on how to help. Continuing on the thread of how to help someone, with anxiety in this case, there was one important moment I would like to elaborate upon. It was a real … Continue reading Trusting the Breath