At the moment it doesn’t feel good to be in and out of numerous projects, not to feel like I am moving along let alone completing anything. I am back to a state of being in the middle of three different books, in the middle of knitting my first ever blanket, baby is born already and growing fast! I am in the middle of a dance choreography, at the beginning of an online course I signed up for that most people on the course are done with by now. My kids are in the middle of stories they are writing, and are waiting for me to help them continue.
What does it take to move forward, maybe even complete these little projects without adding new ones to be in the middle of?
Does it matter? Of course in the overall, big picture it matters little, and “it’s all about the process, not so much about the result”. However, in this moment it does matter to me. To feel that sense of accomplishment at progress or at completing something. Checking it off the list. For that boost to my self esteem and confidence.
So what does it take to get through it all, even to advance a little bit in something: some discipline and focus of course, some structure, some pushing, all with a dose of compassion. I am no longer too hard on myself. My critical side would say, “you’re way too easy on yourself of late.”
It comes back to not pushing too hard, and not being too relaxed with myself. But, there are times that working a little bit harder is needed and at other times being kinder with myself is what’s important.
With practice we bounce between going too hard, and going too easy, and once in a while there are moments of balance, of yoga, or peace. When things flow smoothly. Usually they are fleeting moments. Hopefully the oscillations get smaller and smaller over time and we can come closer to being centered and balanced.
Wish me luck with my little projects. I am in need of a bit of focus, discipline, and structure. Putting it out there like this encourages me.
Thanks for reading and for being present.